We all talk about how amazing the teachers are for our children, but we seldom stop to realize how much they teach us as parents too. I have 3 children, and this is the first year I stepped up to be room mom. With my first child, I had no clue what being room mom meant, so I let the more seasoned parents tackle it. With my second child, I was overwhelmed with two kids in school so close together that managing even one more thing seemed like it would break me, so again I let the seasoned parents tackle it. As the years went on, there was always someone more eager than I was to take on the room mom job, and I was grateful to them. My philosophy was “Tell me what I need to bring or send in, and I’ll make it happen”. But this year, as my last child – my baby – entered his first year of elementary school, I felt it was my time to start giving back to all those room moms before me. It’s like a rite of passage, and I needed to be initiated into the club.
My youngest son entered Kindergarten and was assigned a wonderful teacher, the classroom “Mama Bear”. She was eager to engage my help, and we became fast friends who mutually understood the role of teacher and parent. I am not crafty, but I am organized, and I leaned on those parents that would help me when I knew to ask. They were wonderful! So open and helpful and caring too. We had many parties and field trips and classroom celebrations and it felt great to be a part of making it all come together. It was a ton of work, but I was finally involved not only in the education of my child, but his social and emotional needs at school. I learned his friends, and their personalities. I met parents who became my friends too. I had met my tribe.
We celebrated teachers for their birthday and un-birthday, Johnny Appleseed’s birthday, Amazing Grace Family Farms Crop Maze field trip for a pumpkin patch, 50’s party for 50th day of school with hula hoops and root beer floats and bubble gum, Book Character parade for Halloween, Poetry and Pie tasting for Thanksgiving, Veteran’s Day celebration, Merry Everything party, Polar Express and PJ’s day, 100th day of school celebration, and even an Alligator Farm field trip.
And then, everything STOPPED. Spring break came and we never went back. No last hug, no goodbye. No last party, no end of year celebration. No Kindergarten graduation. We got an extra week of spring break as everything closed and we scrambled to figure out how to do this “school from home” gig with kids that couldn’t read or write yet. Then we started back with online learning and zoom meetings and video lessons. Our teachers busted their tails to ensure each and every child had the resources to learn and thrive. I can only speak for my child and my experience from here on out, but when my child struggled, we struggled together. When my child struggled, I leaned on his teacher. When my child struggled, his teacher gave ME courage, as much as she gave to him. When my child struggled, his teacher sent me as much love as she gave to him. When my child struggled, his teacher believed in me as his new fearless teacher as much as she believed in him as a fearless learner. When my child succeeded and learned something in this new tech world, his teacher praised me for persevering and being a good example and praised him for being the fearless learner she knew from the classroom.
What my child’s teacher does NOT know, is that SHE is the fearless one. She is the one who taught me how to be a better parent these past 8 weeks. She taught me how to be more patient, more flexible, more understanding, more comforting, more present. She taught me more than she will ever realize. I had some bad days. I mean really bad, terrible, horrible, no-good days with my stubborn 5 year old. Because online learning isn’t his “thing”. So you know what I did? I cried. And then I called his teacher. Because she ALWAYS knew how to talk to him, and ME, to get us back on track. She didn’t let us fail, because failure was not an option. She taught us both the next right step to take, even if it was a day off to reconnect to one another. She taught us both to persevere, because writing and reading are important but there are a million ways to accomplish the same goal. She gave us ideas and workarounds; she gave us comfort and laughter; she gave us sanity and calmness in the midst of the storm. And every chance I got, I used what she taught me to share with my fellow moms. I used what she taught me to pay it forward. I used what she taught me to guide myself and my friends to a place of peace and acceptance.
I had no idea what being room mom would mean this year, and honestly I was scared I would fail. Fail my son, fail my teacher, fail my fellow parents. But I embraced it, and with the help of all of those around me, we had a great year! But wow, did it spin on a dime in March. After 6 months of building a relationship with my son’s teacher, I suddenly felt very compelled to ensure she was put in the best possible light and to be her helper. She needed support and feedback. She needed honesty and freedom. She was learning how to teach in a way that she had never taught before, to students who had never learned this way before. Did it all work? Nope. But did we adapt and improvise? You betcha. We found a way. And we had fun. As a team. As a tribe. A tribe of fearless learners.
When we were first introduced to our Kindergarten teacher, she had an exercise for the students that would become our daily routine. Each student would look in the mirror and say boldly “I am a fearless learner!”. My kids and I would say this phrase confidently every single morning before school at drop off “I am a fearless learner and today is going to be a great day!”. Throughout our Kindergarten journey this year, the consistent message from my child’s teacher has always been about our “Tribe of Fearless Learners”. We have all endured so much. I have learned incredible insight into my child, myself, and most certainly my child’s teacher. I am so proud to call her my friend. I am so happy that I stepped up this year to be more involved. If I wasn’t so involved with my son’s learning this year, I do think I would have “checked out” much sooner into this school from home gig, because it was incredibly overwhelming. I am sad that my son’s first year of school was not at all what I expected, but I am also so incredibly blessed that my son’s first year of school was not at ALL what I expected!
They say being a room mom or school volunteer is a thankless job. That’s simply not true, if you look in the eyes of a child. I am so grateful for the patience of my fellow parents while I learned through this journey. When I received this gift of thanks from my child’s teacher, it melted my heart. I volunteered at the start of the year, not knowing at all what I was getting into, but hoping I would learn along the way. Luckily that is exactly what I did. I became a fearless learner, right alongside my sweet little boy.
I know that not all teacher-parent relationships are worthy of this sort of feel-good inspiration. But I also know that what we focus on expands. And this year I chose GRATITUDE. Focus on the good and the good gets better.
I hope this letter of appreciation inspires parents to participate in the classrooms and schools as much as possible, support your teachers, and truly be open to learning as much from the teacher as you are asking of your own child. It made a difference in my life. I hope this letter of appreciation also inspires teachers to be open to accepting your parents into the classroom and share your teachings, because we have as much to learn as our children. School is so different now, and it is a joy to share the journey with my children. THANK YOU to Mrs. Catie Grimes for all that you did this year to inspire greatness not only in my child, but also in me! I can now proudly look in the mirror and say “I AM A FEARLESS LEARNER!”
Enjoy this gift from your Fearless Learners! Thank you again for an amazing first year of school ~ We love you so very much!